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Three Years Of Marriage

Three years ago today I had the immense blessing of marrying my best friend Jeremy. While it has been a whirlwind of three years, I am taking today to reflect on all I have learned and loved from it.

It doesn’t matter if you meet through a friend, after finding each other on one of the Black Dating Sites, at a cooking class, on a night out, or on holiday, once you find your soulmate, there’s no looking back! And I truly feel like I’ve met my soulmate.

These are some tid-bits that I have found make our marriage the best thing possible:

1. First and foremost, when we are both striving to put Christ at the center of it- that is truly when we are the happiest.
2. LISTEN UP: this is the second biggest thing: always, always, always put your partner’s needs above your own. For example, if you have a premature ejaculation problem, and your partner wants you to stay longer until she also experiences orgasm, then you might want to know how to treat premature ejaculation. If you take such efforts to satisfy your partner’s needs, your partner will also do the same for you. Whenever I am making sure to do my absolute best at loving J, and putting his needs before mine, guess what happens? He does the same back! Because he feels loved and cared for, he then wants to do the same for me. Neat little cycle, huh?! It really works, and if for some reason it makes you feel weird thinking of putting their needs before your own, then look at it selfishly. Think of how when you serve them first, you WILL get served first back.
3. Do things together. It doesn’t necessarily matter what those things are, just make an effort to spend time together outside of ‘nighttime couch time’. I am so in love with the fact that both J and I love to do DIY home projects. There are so many weekends where we don’t even go on a ‘date’, but instead spend the time with each other building something, or painting, etc. Those nights of late night pizza orders because were both exhausted from painting all day… yea, they are the best. I love that when we hang out it really is the best time, no matter what were doing. I feel myself instantly relax whenever he walks in a room. I feel myself laugh louder when its one of his jokes. I feel myself smile bigger than ever when I catch him smiling at me:)
4. Cook yummy meals as physically often as possible. Now in Js mind he thinks that I am loving him the best on the nights that I cook cheesy carb-filled meals, but in my mind i’m loving him the best on nights that I do something healthy. I want him to live way past me, so I have to keep him healthy;)
5. Surprise each other often. There is nothing better than a little love note, random flowers, spontaneous date nights, and even garage sale finds {haha, I hope its not just me that thinks “MAN I AM LOVED” when I come home to an awesome lamp that J bought for me at a garage sale}.

6. Touch. I have no idea if he feels the same way as I do on this, but on the rare occasion that I’m not quite feeling over the moon for him, I make an effort to touch him more that day. It might be something as simple as holding his hand, or even..well..you know! It’s still important to make time for that, no matter how long you’ve been married. Once I start acting out the love I know I have for him, the giddy butterfly emotions start rolling back in. That’s why it’s so important to find time for each other every so often. Of course, as you both get older, more health problems may start to come into play. For example, your husband may start to experience erectile dysfunction, making it more difficult for you both to engage in intercourse. If this is the case, it might be worth them visiting https://www.blinkhealth.com/ed to try and get some medication. This should remove any erectile problems, ensuring that you can make love without any problems. These sorts of health problems are quite common, so make sure to work with your partner to make it easier for them. This should help you to keep a healthier marriage. Touch is so important.

7. I feel as though this is a super obvious one, but..respect each other. I always take this one step further, by not just respecting him to his face, but really watching how I talk about him to others. Now, this doesn’t mean that I never vent to my girlfriends about something, or really talk about our issues if we need some extra prayers. But, it does mean that I always try my absolute hardest to never bad-mouth him.
8. This one is especially ringing true for us since J started his MBA program a few months back, Cherish your time together. One fun thing we have been doing a ton lately is going on long bike rides. People- i’m not talking about serious riding, just leisure. It is so nice since its beautiful here in AZ lately!
9. Encourage each other constantly. There are many days when we both need encouragement, usually for very different reasons. It makes all the difference when J says “Babe, your doing great. Keep at it!”
10. This last one is simple. Love each other. Love each other a lot. Show your love. Talk about your love. Write out your love for each other. Be thankful for it. Tell others about it. LOVE LOVE LOVE

I know I may be considered a newbie to the married peoples world.. but man I feel like I was born to be married to him {which totally makes me a veteran, right?}. Hope some of these tid-bits encourage you today to go love on your significant other better. It’s so important to try and keep the spark alive in your marriage. You always hear of people becoming unhappy with their partner after they get married, so it’s important to find time to spend time together. Hopefully, we’ll always be happy in our marriage, but I know that things can change instantly. One of my friends was happily married to her husband for 5 years, but they then decided to divorce. As an outsider, this seemed so sudden, but they were thinking of contacting some of the best divorce lawyers los angeles has to offer for some time apparently. Marriage can be a scary thing, but by following some of these tips, you should increase your chances of a happier marriage. I’ll leave you with a few shots of our anniversary date night on Saturday..he was lookin’ h.o.t.t.t.


And of course, in our true fashion, here is a shot of me and the pups at Home Depot. We of course had to make a stop there before our date night started!

<3,
Adri

PS- please don’t let this photo make you think that pets are allowed at HD. They totally aren’t. We just have really rad people that work at our location, that recognize us and love our pups.

PPS- wedding photos taken by David Blakeman

And because two PS’s wasn’t enough:
PPPS- I will be back tomorrow with some non-gushy normal stuff:) Don’t worry, this blog isn’t turning into a proclamation of my love for my hubby..I only throw that in a little!

Comments

  2. Julie M. says

    Hi there. I’m new to your blog, and I’m really loving it. Happy Anniversary! That is really sweet advice and so true. You guys looked great on your date night, and I’m sure you get this all the time, but you look so much like Tina Fey in that photo.

  3. Brooke Buckingham says

    Hello! I stumbled upon your blog when it was featured on YHL and have really enjoyed it! I agree with everyone of your point about keeping a marriage strong. 🙂 And just so you know, the Home Depots in the Seattle area are totally dog friendly! 🙂 You can take your dog with you anywhere you want, which totally helped me on several occasions when our dog was a puppy!

  4. karen @ our slo house says

    Happy anniversary! You guys are still newlyweds, but at 3 years, you’re starting to be veterans.

    I agree with all of your points. When you have kids, it becomes more difficult to spend quality time together. But it’s even more important to make the time. And you’re right– “nighttime couch time” does not count as *quality* time.

    p.s. Have you read The Five Love Languages? It’s a great book, and an extremely easy read.

  5. Josh says

    Adrianne,
    First of all happy anniversary! As you know I only read all your blogs. I am not proud to say that…I usually don’t comment on here so as not to openly admit to reading. I must say, however, that I have a grammatical issue I must discuss with you. At the end you had a p.s, pss, etc. It should be ps, pps, ppps, etc. It’s stands for postscript, post post script… It’s a small point. Ha. Love you guys!

  6. lauralove. says

    I found your blog via centsational girl yesterday, and am definitely a follower now. Happy anniversary, and thanks so much for this post. There are so many great reminders for how I should be treating my husband (of not quite one year), and how my relationship with Christ should reflect back on him.

    Plus, you’re super cute and talented. Really, can we be best friends? Thanks.

  7. adrianne says

    Thanks Kasey. {by the way- i always look forward to your encouraging comments! You are the best!}
    Julie- Thank you! And actually, I dont think i’ve ever gotten the Tina Fey comment! How funny! Thank you.
    Brooke- Thank you and glad you agree! Thats so awesome about your HD. I wish all of them gladly accepted dogs, but I do understand that people might not always bring in the most friendly dogs, which can be an issue. So fun for you though!!!
    Karen- Thank you, and yes- we can only imagine how different it will be once kids enter the picture. We try to soak in the quality time as much as possible to ‘store up’ on it:) And yes, we both have read it in our premarital counseling! Thanks!
    Josh- OH NO your outed!!! haha oh josh- we love you and I LOVE that you secretly read this;)
    <3,
    Adri

  8. Amanda says

    Love this post!! Thank you for the reminders – sometimes it is so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves that we forget to put our spouse first. I feel like I want to print these out and tape them to our bathroom mirror…maybe make a little DIY graphic art poster with these points on them.

    You guys are the cutest couple, by the way!

  10. Jenny says

    I just found your blog and I love it!! Great advice! Thanks for sharing. Also, I LOVE THE PICTURE OF YOUR DOGS!! I have a puggle too. They are such sweet loving dogs : )

  11. adrianne says

    Thanks guys!! Yes it is so easy to forget to do these, thats why writing them down or reading from someone else totally helps! Jenny- haha thanks about the dogs! We are pretty obsessed with them as well:):)
    <3,
    Adri