Having Family Live With You

It has been 16 months since we moved into this house….but someone else was living here for a month prior to that! You see, when we bought this house we knew that my parents would be moving in with us for an unknown amount of time. It could’ve been a year, or it could be for who knows how long, but we knew they would be with us:) Because of that, we had their side of the house remodeled first so that they could move in fast and then the rest of the renovation could take place on our side. Before we started renovations we made sure we knew the professional liability insurance cost, weighed up the options, and then bought the insurance that was most suited to us. It was important to get cover because we had hired a team to help with the rebuilding and this meant we did not want any mistakes made by the builders or architect to affect the overall cost of our renovations. We had so many different professionals coming through our doors, like the guys from the Best New Jersey Roofing company to come and replace some missing shingles, as well as plumbers, electricians, and floor specialists. This home was pretty much a construction site 6 months ago!

As you can see from the before and after pictures, the changes we made are pretty hefty! My favorite change has to be the sink for sure, it’s so big now and I feel as though it’s actually functional, rather than being small and cramped like the previous sink. This sink however was so heavy, I felt so bad for the plumbers installing it! Of course, they said it was no bother, but I just knew it was super heavy. J was originally going to install it but then we decided we wanted a professional to do so to ensure it was installed properly. Finding reliable plumbers in Hastings can be an annoying task, always be certain to do extensive research online before booking in an appointment and quote. That way, you know exactly what you’re getting!

I know what some of you are thinking…Why on earth would you want your parents to live with you? Or, how is it honestly going now that it’s been over a year? Well, I am here to tell you the honest truth of it all, AND finally, show you their side of the house {with their permission of course!}. The door in the photo below leads you to the laundry room, which leads you to their home.

Without sharing private family details, we knew my parents would be with us for awhile, and while it seemed a little scary at first, it has been the biggest blessing! Not going to lie, if circumstances were different, our feelings on it would be different. Say, if this happened when J and I first got married, or really anytime before having Bray, it might not have been such a great fit. BUT thats not the case, and we had been married for 5 years before they moved in to the house, and Bray was about 6 months old.

Having my mom and dad 30 seconds away at any time is such an incredible blessing. Especially as a parent, I truly feel like I would be lost if/when I have to go back to do this whole ‘parenting’ thing without the daily help from my parents. I am sure that not all parents would help out their kids as much as mine do, and for that I am forever grateful. I had a rough morning with Bray? I send him over to GMA and grandpas place to play for a little while I collect myself. I come down with a bad cold? My parents {and in-laws too, they always help but just don’t live 30 seconds away!} take him for the day so I can recoup. They also don’t always just ‘help when needed’. I cannot tell you how many times a day Bray asks to go see them, and they welcome him {and I} over with hugs and kisses.

Seeing the relationship that he has with them is just beautiful. I grew up with my GMA {my moms mom} living with us always, and she was my best friend. I never thought that my children might get to experience that same relationship- and I am SO grateful they do!!!!!! Aside from Jeremy and I, there is no-one that knows Bray better than them, and rightfully so with the amount of time spent together.

Not going to lie, it took some adjusting at first. We both had to learn each others boundaries. For instance, we have a pretty open door policy during the weekdays, but once J comes home at night, and even during weekends, we definitely keep to ourselves more. They totally respect the fact that we need time as our own family unit, and visa versa. And the fact that they are so selfless in their time spent helping us with Bray is amazing. Almost any night that we want to go to dinner, see a movie, whatever- we simply put Bray to bed and then bring them over the monitor {as my dad calls it- ‘monitor duty’}. Or the weekends that we are really trying to just get a big project completed, they help us watch Bray. The little rituals they have with him are the best!

We never saw this coming when we first got married, or even when we first had Bray, but truthfully we both feel incredibly blessed to have them here. The way the love on us as a family, the way they are helping mould Bray into a bright and sweet young boy, the way they support me as a mom and wife, it is all invaluable. {And mom- when you read this probably a week from now, I mean it all- we LOVE you guys}.

Now that all the truth is out there about how the relationship works, here is their home. Yes, my parents have very different taste than J and I do, but thats ok! We told them to decorate their space however they want, because it is their home:) And keep in mind, these are real life photos of their space. Clean? Yes. Staged {with items removed to make look better}? Nope!

This is what you see when you come out of the laundry room on the other side. Their kitchen to the right, and their dining table to the left:

My mom is a lover of keeping anything that has any sentimental value {aka a hoarder of all things from us kids growing up, haha}, so I love looking around their home and seeing things that I saw while I was a child:

They make the space work so well for them. I am sure they would love about another 1,000 sq.ft., but they make what they have work!

We changed up a LOT in the kitchen, considering it wasn’t even a kitchen prior. We made it one by installing our appliances from our old kitchen and had a service such as you can find on a website like https:www.jeremyrepairs.com for example, to come and complete maintenance on each appliance, ready for our new kitchen. We then moved the bathroom and laundry room around. The original bathroom for this side of the home didn’t have anything more than a toilet, so we had to do some space rearranging:) Once you go through the kitchen and dine-in area, you enter their bedroom. In this room we closed in some funky outdoor storage space and converted it in to a walk-in closet for them. The best feature to this room is the freaking massive high ceilings. While the room itself is a good size, the ceilings make it seem massive:

My dad is not a fan of the room divider in there, but my mom loves the fact that it separates the TV area from the bed.

And thats their space, friends. They have less space than they are accustomed to, but they have more love pouring out of them {and back in to them} than ever before. Jeremy, Bray, and I are SO beyond blessed to have them with us, for however long it may be.

If any of you are thinking that this same situation might be in your future, here are some tips I have for you:

-Have you and your hubby sit down together BEFORE they move in, and discuss what boundaries you as a couple need to have happen with your parents. Be realistic. Be tough. Be honest. ESP if it is the wifes parents moving in:)

-Once you have that convo with your hubby, then you as a couple sit down with your parents BEFORE they move in and vocalize the boundaries you need to take place. Yes, it is a hard convo because feelings could potentially be hurt- but it is FAR better for that to happen once, then to have an issue constantly.

-When things come up that are irritating {for you or for them} have open, honest, communication about it. Sometimes I do things to drive my parents nuts, and visa versa, but we let each other know so we can try to not repeat it.

-Be respectful to each others space, and time. Like I said, my parents try their hardest to not come over to our side when they know J is home, so we can have that family time.

-And above all, look to the positives of it. Focus on the fact that you {and your kids} are getting blessed to have an intimate relationship with your parents. That you are getting years of life together that most don’t. These years are precious to us, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

I hope this answers some questions I constantly get about how ‘the parent situation’ is going. Also, hope you guys enjoyed seeing a part of our home thats never been shown before. While we have different tastes {to put it mildly;) } I love that they have their space just how they want it!

Do any of you have your parents living with you? Or did you grow up with grandparents in the home? I would love to hear your take on it!!!

Happy Friday friends! See you back here on Monday for a REALLY fun project reveal!