I am officially 9 1/2 months pregnant. That.Is.Nuts.
For me, this point in pregnancy is such a contradiction. A large part of me is so ready to meet this baby boy and not be pregnant anymore, but there is an equally large part of me that wants to soak in every last second of this pregnancy.
I cannot wait to see what our precious boy will look like. Will he have Jeremys lips, nose, and hair? Will he have my cheek bones? Will he enter this world screaming and excited, or calmly and quietly? Will he be perfectly healthy? Will I transition to being a mom smoothly, or will I hit every bump in the road possible?! I know its going to happen, but how is it possible that I am going to love my husband even more once I seem him holding our son? Yep- just thinking about that future image made me cry. Now these are the future thoughts that make me curious and envious of the time to come, but for now, I want to reflect on the past 9 1/2 months..
I have loved being pregnant. I was terrified that it would take us a long time to get pregnant…for no real reason I was totally concerned. Welp- God knew my worrying heart and blessed us by letting us get pregnant our second cycle trying. How good is He?!
I love my ever changing body. I joke around that I feel huge {which in reality I do} but its not a ‘huge’ thats gross to me. Its a ‘Man I am huge, but because of this insane miracle inside of me!!’ My belly has grown to a size that I didn’t think was even possible, and yet it continues to grow daily more and more. It is beautiful to me. I often find myself watching for my reflection past buildings, or taking an extra minute in the mirror in the mornings. Not looking at my face, my hair, or anything other than this beautiful big belly. I love that depending on where baby boy is laying my belly button is either a total outie, or just kinda flat. I love the humor in the fact that my ‘dark line’ is not straight on the top AT ALL. My genius idea when I was 18 to get my belly button pierced allows for my top line to start straight and totally go crooked heading toward my belly button. I am slightly worried about losing the mummy tummy once I’ve had the baby though. That said, one of my friends had a baby a few years ago and she went to a top rated CoolSculpting procedure practice in New Jersey area to see if they could do anything to help her get rid of unwanted fat. She went for a CoolSculpting procedure and she’s now super self-confident! It’s good for me to know there are options available if I can’t shift the weight myself! I do feel a bit hesitant at the thought of getting plastic surgery, but looking at cosmetic surgery statistics at the Victorian Cosmetic Institute might calm my nerves. I’ve also been slightly concerned with my breasts. I know that after breastfeeding, your breasts can lose their perkiness and shape that they once had. This can ruin a woman’s self-confidence, but there are options out there to get your breasts back to how they once were. For example, breast augmentation is one way to get your breasts back to how they once were. There are many plastic surgeons out there in all sorts of cities, whether that be Houston, Los Angeles, or Chicago; it’s easy to access surgery wherever you live.
I love how much it makes me and J laugh at the end of each day to see just how swollen my feet have gotten. Or as much as it is uncomfortable, how my hands feel as though they belong to someone who is 90. I for the life of me cannot open a can or jar of anything lately. Its like I instantly developed the worst stage of arthritis, and J is my younger partner that opens everything for me;) I now understand the need for those hilarious can openers at Bed Bath and Beyond that are just massive. I.Get.It!
I love how strangers everywhere always have something to say. Luckily for me 99% of the time the comments or questions have been sweet. The other 1% I just ignore. But, the questions of when I am due, boy or girl, name chosen, etc. make me feel good about this world. Most of the time strangers just go about their daily lives, ignoring those around them. But for some reason, this big belly of mine makes them stop for a second. Makes them think about others. Im sure makes the already mamas reminisce about their babies. It makes me have a renewed hope that people do genuinely care for others, but often just don’t take the time to talk to the person next to them in line at Sprouts. And the teenagers that say stuff, they are the best! Super awkward and always sweet comments like “Wow, your belly is so big, I bet your kid will be awesome!” Haha.
One thing I love the most…
When J casually changes the spot in which he lays down on the couch so that he can put his hand on my belly and feel his little boy kick. It seems like it was yesterday that we would lay on the couch for hours waiting for just one little kick, and now, its like a circus in there. Punch, jab, kick, roll, all amazing feelings! Now that I know the exact position he is is it is especially fun knowing just what it is that is poking us. I said when I felt that first little kick that I didn’t think I would ever get sick of it, and its true. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes when he kicks my ribs hard I am not so excited, but I still love the movement. Its like we have a secret little game going on all the time, and people don’t have a clue. I am going to desperately miss having him with me at all times {you know, without having to actually feed him or change his diaper!}
I have loved all the preparation that has taken place for his arrival. Not only spending countless hours working on and day dreaming about the nursery, or learning about all the crazy amounts of things babies ‘need’, but also my Hypnobabies study. I loved the homestudy that I have done. It makes me feel empowered, like I can take on the world. It makes me appreciate this miracle inside me even more than I already was.
Being close to our due date is somewhat like eagerly waiting for Christmas morning. I can’t wait for him to be here, but I also love the lead up to the holiday so much that I almost want to slow down time till it happens so that its not over too fast! Lucky that there’s a Visual Guide to Slowing Down Time in that case!
Baby boy,
Your daddy and I cannot wait to meet you. Cannot wait to hold you, kiss you, breathe you in. We pray for you daily, hourly. We pray that you feel so instantly loved by us and those who surround you. We pray that you are healthy, and also if we have an obstacle to overcome with health, that we and the doctors will be wise in our decisions. We cannot wait to see who you look like, what you will act like. We want you to come when you are good and ready, and not a second before. We love you with all of our hearts, and can only imagine how much more we will love you once you are here.
You have an amazing way to put all the feeling and emotion of life/pregnancy into words. While I was reading this, I felt like, this is EXACTLY how I feel! So excited for you to have an awesome delivery and a beautiful bundle of boy with you as soon as he is ready 🙂
Beautiful Post! I cried, I’m 34.5 weeks pregnant, and your words spoke to me, everything you wrote is the EXACT same way I’m feeling, I’m so ready to meet our little boy, but I also know that I’ll miss feeling his kicks, and having him with me 247, such a catch 22! Thanks so much for sharing this with us!
Just lovely and beautiful. I can’t wait to be taken on this journey you are about to embark on. Best of luck to you and wishing you a home full of love.
That very best girlfriend I mentioned before had a sweet baby girl last night. I was thrilled to be in the waiting room and to be able to rush in and meet her. I’m not a “mommy” kind of girl, and I’m probably just emotional from last night, but your letter to your babe made me eyes all prickly. You’ll be lucky if you can refrain from swallowing him whole once you meet him. It was so trippy to imagine that what was just a swollen belly moments before, was now this little creature with her momma’s lips and her daddy’s nose. Miracle indeed.
I’m 70 and your thoughts, hopes and dreams for your baby brought tears to my eyes because I remember these were my thoughts for my son, who is now 52. Best wishes for a joyful future with your new baby. Aiyana
I must say you are incredibly inspiring. I can only hope someday I have a husband I adore as much as you adore your husband. You are great with your words and know how to encourage people to be kind and loving to those around them. Every time I read a blog about you and “j” I am more and more inspired to show my own boyfriend how much he means to me. It’s all about the little things in life. You are truly “glowing” even though I have never met you in person. I hope you continue to spread your positive thoughts and dreams to the blogging world! Your little boy is going to be the most loved baby ever! I hope more people stop and write down (and share with others) the most important life events like you have done! Congratulations on your new baby boy!
You have an amazing way to put all the feeling and emotion of life/pregnancy into words. While I was reading this, I felt like, this is EXACTLY how I feel! So excited for you to have an awesome delivery and a beautiful bundle of boy with you as soon as he is ready 🙂
I’m grateful you’re grateful. You’ll be even more grateful you took the time to share this lovely post.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Love and hugs,
Kelley of Kelley Highway
Mother of Dana, 28, and Danielle 25 (AND her husband Corey, 25 *wink*)
Beautiful Post! I cried, I’m 34.5 weeks pregnant, and your words spoke to me, everything you wrote is the EXACT same way I’m feeling, I’m so ready to meet our little boy, but I also know that I’ll miss feeling his kicks, and having him with me 247, such a catch 22! Thanks so much for sharing this with us!
Praying for a healthy delivery for you guys!
Carol
Just beautiful.
That’s it–he’s waiting for Mother’s Day! I can’t wait to find out the name, too.
This is just so sweet! It’s such a special time in your life and I am so happy for you both!! 🙂
I absolutely LOVE this post. I wrote a simliar post-birth post on my blog here: http://okiedokeandholymoley.blogspot.com/2012/05/skinny-as-in-summary-not-after-baby.html
I cannot wait to hear what you have named the little guy! I read your blog everyday and love it!
CONGRATULATIONS!
Just lovely and beautiful. I can’t wait to be taken on this journey you are about to embark on. Best of luck to you and wishing you a home full of love.
That very best girlfriend I mentioned before had a sweet baby girl last night. I was thrilled to be in the waiting room and to be able to rush in and meet her.
I’m not a “mommy” kind of girl, and I’m probably just emotional from last night, but your letter to your babe made me eyes all prickly.
You’ll be lucky if you can refrain from swallowing him whole once you meet him. It was so trippy to imagine that what was just a swollen belly moments before, was now this little creature with her momma’s lips and her daddy’s nose. Miracle indeed.
I’m 70 and your thoughts, hopes and dreams for your baby brought tears to my eyes because I remember these were my thoughts for my son, who is now 52. Best wishes for a joyful future with your new baby.
Aiyana
I must say you are incredibly inspiring. I can only hope someday I have a husband I adore as much as you adore your husband. You are great with your words and know how to encourage people to be kind and loving to those around them. Every time I read a blog about you and “j” I am more and more inspired to show my own boyfriend how much he means to me. It’s all about the little things in life. You are truly “glowing” even though I have never met you in person. I hope you continue to spread your positive thoughts and dreams to the blogging world! Your little boy is going to be the most loved baby ever! I hope more people stop and write down (and share with others) the most important life events like you have done! Congratulations on your new baby boy!