Forewarning: This post is scattered and full of feelings. I am questioning even posting it- but I assume I am not alone in this, so here goes nothing:
photo:Melissa Jill Photography
I don’t know what it is about life lately, but I find myself comparing myself-my life-everything, to so many around me. It is pretty odd that it is happening so much lately because I genuinely consider myself a confident and content person. I am the girl that will go out in public looking like a freaking train wreck, and not care at all if people see. I know just how blessed I am with the family and friends I have, so what’s not to be content about?
But then, these gross feelings of inadequacy creep in. It usually starts by seeing something on social media. Whether it be a gathering of friends I wasn’t invited to or a blog that just got featured somewhere I only dream of. The feelings start to creep in, and I hate it. I start to overanalyze why I wasn’t invited to ___, why I didn’t get featured in ___, why I wasn’t good enough to ___, why that person is able to ___, and so on. Most of the things that I struggle with for this are totally ridiculous. Things that I know in a few weeks’ time I won’t even remember. And I don’t know if that is really good, or really bad. I guess it’s good in the sense that I am not struggling hard with comparing myself to the things that really matter. But bad because, well why do I even waste my time on these silly things?! Sometimes they just stick in your mind and it’s like you can’t get them out so you try and find ways to distract yourself or calm yourself down. I know a few people will use yoga, herbal supplements, medications, even cannabis from websites like wonder buds as well as others, but I think I just forget to even stop myself and just wallow.
My sweet husband always try to make me laugh whenever I tell him my ‘woes’. He cracks a joke about it, and usually he can snap me out of it rather quickly. But when he can’t, these are some of the things I do:
– First, I always bring it to God. I pray that He would reveal what is truly going on in my heart, and help me process it. Even though the things may be silly little things, there is usually some sort of deep rooted thing behind them. That is what I want to tackle and deal with, with some help from God!
– Take a moment for some self-care. Do something that makes me truly happy. I know friends who find cannabis product like these THC gummies really help them chill out and de-stress, but I’m not too sure those are the right solution for me. Depending on the day, what truly makes me happy can take the form a million different things. Do a workout, take a nap, listen to great music while crafting, read a new book, make myself something extra yummy to eat, etc.
– Call my girlfriends that know me through-and-through. They will listen, encourage, and stop me in my tracks from going down the rabbit-hole of useless emotion.
I know I am not the only one who struggles with comparison. I know that we all struggle in different ways and with different things. I just hope that this can be a little encouragement to you today. If you are ever feeling down about it- try some of the tips. And if you have any of your own- please share. Whether you go to visit a dispensary, hang out with friends, talk it out with your husbands, or anything else, if we can help each other out to get through these times then that helps all of us.
Let it go and just be the best we can be today, and not worry for one second about what others are doing.
This is something that I have struggled with also and the thing that helps me the most is to turn it around. Instead of asking “why didn’t I get to….?” I ask, “who am I that God has given me all that He has?!”
Amen Kerri! We all truly do get more than we could ever imagine
My goodness Adri, you are one of the best bloggers I know. You are such a good mother, and housekeeper, and blogger. What do you care what other people think?
Let it go. You work with your husband, help your parents and seem to have raised 2 beautiful interesting boys. You never seem to give up and go the extra mile. You must be hormonal. I have tremendous respect for you and we have never met.
Make new friends. You are wonderful.
Oh Ann- this is the best comment ever!! YOU MUST BE HORMONAL! I literally laughed out loud!!! Seriously, you are the best. Thank you for being such a sweet, loyal, and encouraging reader:)
You are a Beautiful Christian Women , I have Admired you , many times !
Its only the Enemy that puts these thoughts into our heads ….I go through it to!
It looks like you have the right answers !!xo
Thanks Sue. Totally the enemy- hes sneaky like that. Thanks for the support- you are so sweet.
Thank you for sharing! I can definitely relate. Truly appreciate you sharing so many diverse aspects of your life openly and honestly via this blog. Trust in continuing to be your unique, talented, kind, and lovely self. 🙂
All the best, Kristin
You are the best Kristin. Thanks for the encouragement. I constantly am checking myself to make sure I am keeping this blog really, really, real:)
I guess that means you are human Adri. Unfortunately some of those feeling are lifelong. In my 50’s now and I still have to work with some of that. There is probably an upside – empathy? Oh, well.
Yep- totally human over here. And I totally agree with you on the empathy part. While I dont like going through some of the struggles life has dealt me, I am always blessed afterwards- if for nothing else, to be able to empathize with others later on. Thanks love!
What an honest post that addresses these feelings that are a part of our lives because we are still of the world. As Christians, we are to strive to be in the heavenly places here on earth. But we have these human tendencies- vanity, self-absorption, hurt feelings- that get in the way. It’s funny, because as a reader of your blog, I think you are the bomb and have it so together in all aspects of life. You are gorgeous, a natural beauty, and to get back in perfect shape after having babies is unbelievable! And yet, the enemy can still attack and make you feel vulnerable. Today at work ( I am a dental hygienist), someone requested the “older lady.” That would be me! I had to laugh it off, but inside I was crushed. I guess I am in denial, because I think I look pretty darned good and “feel” young. But my vanity and ego is still not where I want it to be, because it bothered me. I know that this is just flesh, and you’d think I’d be wise to know my inner being and spirit are far more important to my Lord and Savior. But I know that we are all a work in progress, and that through God we are made perfect and righteous. And that while I know that God knows my heart, I know that He knows my weaknesses. I am made strong through Him, and I will still pour my feelings out to Him, because that’s the way I am wired!! If those people don’t invite you to their gathering, or someone doesn’t recognize your blog, then so be it! They are missing out, because you are a daughter of the King, and what could be more important than that?! AMEN!
And the irony is, that you are probably one others are comparing themselves to! You’re doing great – feel your feels, they happen. Sounds like you have a good plan for coming back to reality. And yeah, you’re probably hormonal. 🙂